6-Jan-2009 · Bob Odenkirk will photograph your penis ... Swindler Bernard L. Madoff gives away millions in jewelry ... John Travolta's brother Joey thought Jett had autism ... Barack Obama's Twitter account offers free gas after hacker gains entry ... Roman Polanski wants his child rape case moved out of Los Angeles ... Woman who was ordered to impersonate Jamie Lynn Spears says she'll sue L.A.P.D. ... New York Times starts selling ads on its front page ... Al Franken says he's "humbled" by Senate win, and Sen Norm Coleman says he'll sue ... Steve Jobs says he's suffering from a hormone imbalance ... Las Vegas lady sees Jesus Christ in her kitchen tile ... Wedding bells for Craig Ferguson ... Rip Torn is charged with another DWI ...

5-Jan-2009 · John Travolta's rumored gay lover discovered dead son ... Akshay Kumar is set for Marty McFly role in Bollywood remake of Back to the Future ... Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson kick off '09 swinging and screaming ... Queen Latifah is robbed of bling in Tobago ... Katie Holmes spends $14M in six months in New York City ... David Frost is complaining about Frost/Nixon. No word yet from Nixon. ...

4-Jan-2009 · Danica Patrick is caught speeding ... Andy Warhol interviews Steven Spielberg while Bianca Jagger watches ... Sam Shepard is charged with drunk driving ... They're saying the death of John Travolta's son was probably caused by "hitting his head on the bathtub, toilet seat or both" ...

3-Jan-2009 · Son of John Travolta and Kelly Preston dies on family vacation ... Dr. Dre's son died of drug overdose ... Los Angeles cops force woman to double as Jamie Lynn Spears ... Heather Locklear pleads DWI down to reckless driving ...

2-Jan-2009 · Britney Spears' big brother marries Jamie Lynn Spears' manager ... Securities and Exchange Commission will keep Bernard L. Madoff's assets secret ... The Village Voice lays off Nat Hentoff ... Alan Cox bids farewell to Red Hat, moves to Intel ...

1-Jan-2009 · Former Rhode Island Senator Claiborne Pell dies ... Missing Bernard Madoff's statue found several blocks from his home, but with note ... Viacom and Time Warner Cable settle their spat ... Happy New Year Microsoft customers unfortunate enough to own a 30GB Zune ...

31-Dec-2008 · Dane Cook's half-brother and manager is accused of swindling millions ... DMX pleads guilty to drug possession, theft, and animal cruelty charges ... Viacom threatens to yank its fleet of channels off Time Warner ... Gary Coleman calls the cops (21 times) ... Facebook takes a stand against breast-feeding photos ... Matt Dillon is clocked at 106 mph ... Charles Barkley is arrested for DWI ...

30-Dec-2008 · Nanny says she was ordered to spray tan naked Heather Mills ... Sarah Palin's daughter has out-of-wedlock son ... Michael Eisner ends the Conversations ... Earthquakes, tsunamis, typhoons, volcanoes, melting icecaps, and Roger Ebert ...

29-Dec-2008 · John Lennon speaks for charity from beyond the grave ... Five injured in gunfire after E-40 concert ... Donald Trump loses big in Israeli courtroom ... Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise call in FBI after death threats ... Google, Microsoft, and Apple are sued over preview icons ...

28-Dec-2008 · Jay Mohr files papers to change his name ... Donny Deutsch preaches what he doesn't practice ... Bipasha Basu tells of being caught in Mumbai attacks ...

27-Dec-2008 · Marilyn Manson is still on the market, gals and ghouls ... Pfizer must pay $38.7 million for stealing data, jury decides ... Sarah Palin calendar tops Amazon's best seller list (for office supplies) ...

26-Dec-2008 · Paris Hilton says she thinks she knows her burglar ... Securities and Exchange Commission Chairman Christopher Cox says the economic collapse isn't his fault ... Mary-Kate Olsen sees sales as the bright side of the recession ... American Express won't leave home without $3.39 billion in fresh bailout funds ... Britney Spears's father gets a court-ordered raise ... GMAC gets OK to become a bank and get its billions in the big bank bailout ...

25-Dec-2008 · US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice gets more than $300,000 in jewelry from the kings of Jordan and Saudi Arabia ... 20th Century Fox wins rights to upcoming Watchmen movie ... Tom Cruise says he "grew up wanting to kill Nazis" ... Lindsay Lohan has holiday wishes for her lousy father ... Benoit Mandelbrot thinks we're all screwed ...

24-Dec-2008 · Scarlett Johansson's post-nasal drip raises $5,300 ... New York Times skips the verification and publishes a prank letter ... Bruce Boxleitner is back for TRON 2 ... Alaska Gov Sarah Palin doesn't return President Bush's calls ...

23-Dec-2008 · Pope Benedict XVI says the world must be saved from homosexuality ... Samantha Ronson is hospitalized with severe Hanukkah ... David Spade gives $100K to arm Phoenix cops with semi-automatic rifles ... Dick Cheney doesn't like rap music ... Tony Martin tunes up ... Today is Festivus, for the rest of us ...

22-Dec-2008 · Michael Jackson is sued by Billy Jean over 'Blanket' ... Amy Winehouse takes a topless step in the right direction ... The Environmental Protection Agency protects polluters' identities, keeps carcinogens off the public record ... DMX is extradited from FL to AZ ... Is Paris Hilton becoming party girl non grata? ... LeAnn Rimes recalls 'scaly girl' kid taunts ... Scientologists tried to recruit Guy Ritchie, Peter Gabriel, Van Morrison ... Darren Aronofsky to screen The Wrestler for Vince McMahon ... MTV moves even farther from the 'M' with 16 new reality shows ...

21-Dec-2008 · Whitney Houston is sued by her stepmother ... The Huffington Post is slammed for content theft ... US Postal Service reopens 'Operation Santa' with privacy controls ... Simon Cowell wants Britney Spears on American Idol ... RIAA says it's changing its sue-happy policy ... Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell's baby is hospitalized ...

20-Dec-2008 · Debbie Reynolds gave Carrie Fisher a vibrator for Christmas ... Paris Hilton's mansion is ransacked by burglars .. Vice President Cheney will decide which of his records are public records and which aren't ... Tom Cruise is dead serious about assassinating Adolf Hitler ...

19-Dec-2008 · David Copperfield's assistant is severely sliced and diced during show ... Chrysler decides to take a month off from making cars ... Russell Simmons' pre-paid VISA reaches $2B milestone ... Gay folks ain't too happy about Rick Warren at Barack Obama's inauguration ... Jeremy Piven's doctor says David Mamet is "insensitive, unkind and unfair" ...

18-Dec-2008 · David Mamet says Jeremy Piven "is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer" ... Scarlett Johansson gives a snot about hunger ... Securities and Exchange Commission was tipped off as far back as 1999 about the assorted swindles of Bernard L. Madoff ... Tracy Morgan set to play Nigerian Prince ... David Letterman gets Jennifer Aniston's famous neck-tie ... Dingbat is arrested for lunging at Lindsay Lohan ... Akon pleads guilty to fan-tossing case ... John Abraham is voted sexiest Asian male of the year ...

17-Dec-2008 · Cops admit incompetence as they finger long-dead guy in murder of John Walsh's son ... Peter Falk has Alzheimer's, his daughter says ... Microsoft issues brown alert over unpatched IE7 flaw ... Isaiah Washington is now a Sierra Leonean ... John Updike has visions of Mars ... Google slams 'confused' story on network neutrality in the Wall Street Journal ... Seems increasingly unlikely that Rod Blagojevich would appoint Jesse Jackson, Jr. ... Brandy gets sued again over fatal wreck in 2006 ... Burger King offers a Whopper-scented perfume ... President Bush's office has finally apologized, to Elisabeth Hasselbeck

16-Dec-2008 · Gov Rod Blagojevich (D-Minnesota) might be flat-out bonkers, in addition to corrupt as hell ... Wyeth paid for medical journal articles that portrayed its drugs in a favorable light, says Senator Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) ... MPAA to Obama: censor the Internet, kick people off the Internet, break other countries' Internet ... Gov David A. Paterson (D-New York) is not amused by blind jokes on Saturday Night Live ... National Association of Evangelicals boots Richard Cizik for not opposing civil unions for gays ... Madonna paid $92M to get out of marriage with Guy Ritchie ... Cedars-Sinai Medical Center pays Dennis Quaid $750K to settle lawsuit over twins' overdose ... Sharon Osbourne goes nuts on Megan Hauserman! Who? ... Tom Cruise says he "came across as arrogant" but "that's not who I am" ... 75 years of funny for Tim Conway ...

15-Dec-2008 · Amy Poehler says goodbye ... Senator Arlen Specter (R-Pennsylvania) tells some Polack jokes ... Mr. T says his persona is perfectly suited for a comic book ... Jane Seymour is selling "open heart" jewelry ...

14-Dec-2008 · Scarlett Johansson says UK Cosmopolitan faked its interview ... Top Chef's Tom Colicchio is sued for allegedly stiffing workers ... Playboy apologizes for Virgin Mary cover (which wasn't nude; the article is wrong) ... Paul Anka's wife is arrested after allegedly nailing him with an ice cube ... Tara Reid checks into rehab ... Michael Jackson steps out in his most bizarre outfit yet ... Michael Phelps is letting himself go ...

13-Dec-2008 · Bobby Brown channeled Al Pacino up his nose ... Federal Reserve won't say who got $2 trillion in emergency loans from U.S. taxpayers ... Carl Malamud puts fifty years of US court records on-line -- free ... O.J. Simpson paid off witness, investigator tells court ... Colin Powell says Republicans need to stop listening to Rush Limbaugh ... Hall and Oates sing a tribute to Alan Colmes ... Sockington makes ROFLCON ...

12-Dec-2008 · Playboy puts the Virgin Mary on its cover (in Mexico) ... Hugh Jackman is going to host the Oscars ... Kareena Kapoor doesn't want to be size zero any more ... Miley Cyrus is attacked by fruit in used Porsche ... Lauren Graham returns to primetime ... Cerberus Capital Management is one of the world's richest private equity firms, and they're begging for a bailout? ... Hopefully Jerry Lewis will receive his Oscar from a nice lady ...

11-Dec-2008 · Macaulay Culkin's sister is hit by a car and killed ... Carrie Fisher says she wishes she'd turned down Star Wars ... Torture victims were kept awake days on end by Eminem and Dr. Dre ... Majel Barrett ensures that the new Star Trek movie will at least sound right ... Exxon Mobil starts paying Alaska victims, 19 years and 9 months after Exxon Valdez spill ... Toni Braxton has benign breast tumor removed ... Italian state TV deletes gay scenes from Brokeback Mountain ... Scarlett Johansson pauses for peace and global warming ... AIG is back for ten-billion dollars more ... At Barack Obama's inauguration, war heroes and a gay marching band ...

10-Dec-2008 · American Idol brought Paula Abdul's stalker on the show over Abdul's objections, she says ... Fran Drescher wants to be Senator Drescher ... Sen Larry Craig (R-men's room) has been informed that Minnesota doesn't do do-overs on a guilty plea ... Jesus Christ was born in June, astronomers claim ... O.J. Simpson offers a going away rap ... AIG hands out millions more in executive bonuses (cleverly not called 'bonuses') ... Saturday Night Live to be remade as ¡Sabado Noche Loco! ... Will Smith gets shy during love scenes ... Sears Roebuck and K-Mart bring back the layaway plan ... No charges for guy who beer-steined Vinnie Jones ... Merrill Lynch CEO John A. Thain withdraws $10M bonus request ...

9-Dec-2008 · NBC finds a prime time spot for Jay Leno ... Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is arrested on corruption charges ... Mark Ruffalo's brother dies from gunshot wound ... Where will Bill Murray show up next? ... US Supreme Court moonbats down theories that Obama's not American ... Merrill Lynch CEO John A. Thain wants $10-million bonus for presiding over $11-billion loss ... Emma Watson says she'd go naked for the right role ... Scientologists have Christmas parties! Who Xenu? ... Christie Hefner to step down as CEO at Playboy ... Drunk-driving Congressman Vito Fossella (R-New York) gets five days in jail ... Fred Thompson is looking for a sublet tenant -- $30,000 for five days ... Jeremiah Wright calls Elizabeth Hasselbeck "that dumb broad" ...

8-Dec-2008 · Joseph Cao will be first Vietnamese-American in Congress, after beating cash-on-ice Congressman William Jefferson ... American Association of Retired Persons rips off retired people with inflated insurance rates ... YouTube has gone a smidgen more puritanical ... Adriana Lima insists she's a virgin ... Leon Trotsky meets Walt Disney ...